The Unshakeable Man Podcast ft. Alistair Moes

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Ep 28: Anger, The Guardian of Our Boundaries with Alistair Moes
The Unshakeable Man Podcast

Alistair Moes joins the Unshakeable Man Podcast—a show and community for men who want to be their best emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual versions of themselves. Alistair unpacks some basics about anger and how we can better deal with it before diving into its roots and ways that he helps his clients process deep-seated trauma and holding patterns.

This might be for you if you…

  • Have trouble feeling and dealing with anger and other emotions.
  • Are looking for some solace in uncertain times
  • Feeling isolated and bottled up.

We talk about…

  • The benefits of journalling.
  • Acknowledging emotions and processing them.
  • The legacy of childhood traumas.
  • Healing through compassion.
  • Striving for progress over perfection.

Key Points From This Episode:

  • Alistair’s upbringing and work in the counseling field over the last 30 years. [0:02:58]
  • What is anger? Describing its relations to our boundaries. [0:07:10]
  • The destructive side of anger and the ability to step back and think things through. [0:11:40]
  • Development of anger and other emotions in instances of trauma. [0:22:33]
  • Learning from mistakes, allowing for growth and making progress in our lives. [0:27:36]
  • The effect of withheld anger; managing anger and compassion at the same time. [0:34:24]
  • Love and kindness towards ourselves and the exercise Alistair takes people through. [0:36:30]
  • Practices for dealing with anger in difficult times and with fewer resources. [0:42:31]
  • Taking stock of emotions and where they reside in our bodies. [0:48:26]
  • Alistair’s closing message: more compassion leads to more wisdom. [0:51:20]


“Anger is just an emotion, we can do something constructive and healthy with it or something destructive with it and unhealthy with it. If somebody comes to me and says, ‘Oh, I never get angry.’ I might say, ‘I am sorry to hear that, what’s it like letting people walk all over you or mistreat the people around you?’” — @LoseYourTemper

“I grew up in a family where nobody talked about anything.” — @LoseYourTemper [0:03:41]

“So many men end up feeling very alone with all of this stuff.” — @LoseYourTemper [0:05:01]

“You’re supposed to get angry. If you don’t feel anything, are you really alive?” — @LoseYourTemper [0:07:42]

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