A Wise Reflection From an Embarrassed 20 Year Old

I had a 20 year old in conversation the other day in my office (I’m 54). He had acted in such a manner that his lawyer had sent him my way. He was embarrassed about how he had acted. We got to the second session of a four session program, and discussed creating a goal. He had thought about this, and realized that his goal would be to have more intelligent conversations with people. He had developed a way of responding to people that was more reactive than responsive. He would react to what his friends, or even others said, with sarcasm, or some pithy or empty cynical or funny retort, that stayed very much on the surface. He realized that this pushed those away who wanted to have real conversation, and kept those close who wanted shallow easy, even immature conversation. He was interested in growing up a little, and stepping into conversations that had more depth. He realized doing this would open up space for others who were also interested in having intelligent conversations. I reflected to him in the moment that I wish I had conversations like that with others when I was 20. In fact, I think many of all ages could appreciate this 20 year old’s goal.